Beyond Freedom Part 1 – 07: The Gap Between Knowing and Doing
There is a huge gap between knowledge and action. For example, we all learned about the basic food groups in grade school. We were told that it’s healthy to eat at least one serving of each food group, every single day. But how many of us follow the advice?
Just because we know what to do, doesn’t mean we’ll do it. So how do we bridge that gap?
Success is spurred by a desire for positive results, and knowing what you must sacrifice in order to achieve your goals. You know you can love ice cream and want to lose weight. But unless you’re ready to give up one, you won’t get the other.
Here are some steps to greatly increase your chances of success in any endeavor (in the exercise that follows, you’ll see how to put these steps into perspective):
Step 1 – Figure out your “why.”
By identifying our reasons for wanting to make a change, we can make a more compelling case when it comes to actually changing our habits and behavior. And look below the surface for reasons. For instance, our ice cream lover from the last paragraph may ask himself “Why do I want to lose weight?” His first answer is “I’m too fat.” As he is poised to lick an ice cream cone, his mind may then respond, “Yeah, well what else is new. One ice cream cone isn’t going to change that.” And, he goes ahead and has the ice cream. You see, it’s not easy to break habits.
To really figure out his “why,” he must look deeper. Why do you want to lose weight? “Well, I was always teased as a kid for being too heavy. When I look in the mirror I hate what I see. I can’t lift my daughter onto my shoulders. I want to be able to put on a bathing suit and swim without being humiliated. I want to be around to see my grandchildren.” OK, now we’re getting somewhere. With those answers, the ice cream cone suddenly doesn’t seem so important.
Step 2 – Get out of your comfort zone.
We get in a rut and we stay there because it’s easier to lay motionless than to pull ourselves up. Change is uncomfortable. But that discomfort is temporary. It will soon be replaced with energy and enthusiasm.
Take a good look around. Make an honest assessment of your current situation and pinpoint the areas in your life where you deserve better. Become uncomfortable with those deficiencies and vow to remove them from your life.
Step 3 – Think of your excuses now and plan around them.
You will find 101 reasons why your new desired behavior can’t be sustained. They will be legitimate reasons, but they must be overcome. You can do that with proper planning, anticipation and an ironclad bond that allows nothing to get in your way. For instance, our ice cream man will want to clear his well-stocked freezer of any tempting sweets. Having healthy snacks on hand will help to overcome cravings.
Step 4 – See both sides of the coin.
One person’s adversity is another’s opportunity. Find the opportunities in any situation.
Look for the ways the world is supporting your decision to change. List five ways that you will be supported in your decision to change.
Step 5 – Ready or not, here I come.
Don’t wait for everything to be ideal in your life before you decide to jump into changes. There is no such time. Make up your mind to change. Know your reasons, make a promise to yourself, set the date and the time for your new beginning and then start. Why wait until tomorrow? You are ready now. Don’t get stuck in the “getting ready to get ready” trap.
EXERCISE
Go through the five steps above and write out your responses for each step.
The worst thing you can do is to start and then quit, start and then quit. This destroys the pact
you’ve made with yourself. The promises that must be honored first and foremost are the ones that you’ve made to yourself.
We must learn to say what we mean and mean what we say. Our word is our bond. Yet even those with impeccable integrity, those who honor their word to others unfailingly, will let it slip when it comes to a promise they make to themselves. Why honor and respect others and not yourself? Keep self-promises.
EXERCISE
JOURNAL CODE: PRM
Once a week (you choose the day), you will make a promise to yourself in the morning and keep the promise during that day. This may seem simple to some and impossible to others.
You may want to start out relatively easy with a promise you know you can keep before progressing to more challenging vows. You will be creating a habit of honoring self- promises. Pay particular attention to the way you feel when you have completed the promised action. It may seem silly at first, but make sure you give yourself plenty of credit for your accomplishment. In the evening, you will write in your journal about the promise, how you completed it, who it impacted, any obstacles thrown your way, and most importantly, how you feel when keeping your word to yourself.