You get what you focus on. That sounds simple enough. But often, the more things seem simple, the more complex they are below the surface. And vice versa.

For instance, you are focused on someone with whom you’d like to have a relationship.

They are seemingly the perfect person for you. Your feelings are deep. You want it badly. You are focused like a laser beam. You want that person. Since your focus is on strong desire, the result is that you get more of that. More desire, more longing.

If they don’t feel quite the same way about you, then that will most likely be a major concern to you. Wondering if you are not good enough. Bemoaning the fact that your attention isn’t being returned. Again, you are getting more of what your mind is focused on. More unreturned love.

More feelings of inadequacy.

So, what can you do differently? Instead of focusing on your outgoing need and desire for the person, you instead concentrate on their incoming attention and respect toward you. That is really what you want anyway. Replay in your mind how the object of your affection desires you and would benefit from a relationship with you. Your mind will behave in ways that are consistent with your new concentration. A likely result is that your attitude and behavior change. Instead of portraying a lovesick image, you instead portray desirability. Instead of focusing on your own overwhelming need, your mindset becomes mutual contentment. You become an intriguing, more confident, equal partner, and thus, more suitable. It is a different way of seeing things, a different way to think.

You get what you focus on, so be careful of the way you focus.

A simple thought doesn’t travel far; but like a ray of light, a thought is most powerful when it is concentrated, centered and repeated. Think of a magnifying glass and how, by focusing light into a small and powerful beam and holding it still and true, you can create fire. It is the same with thought. Its power lies in the intensity, consistency and focus. The more the thought is repeated and formed, the more power and energy it generates.

We do far too little thinking and way too much doing. Our conscious mind will always have something to keep us occupied. There are a million tasks to divert our attention. There’s

another thing to do every time you turn around. But take a moment. Stop reacting to the endless bombardment of events and demands and face yourself. Look inside. The real power of the mind is hidden beneath all those daily actions. Your true power is within you. It’s not what you do, but how you think. To make progress toward the true desires you have inside, you must first engage the inner mind. Think and live as if you already are in possession of your goals. Live out your dreams inside first, and you will be astonished at how the daily events in your life will then support your progress.

EXERCISE

JOURNAL CODE: AFM

Set aside a time each day when you know you can think clearly. Put it on your calendar. Set a timer. Find the time. Utilize this time to set your inner priorities and focus on their attainment. Once you get the hang of it, you will only require 5 to 10 minutes. But it is an essential time that is uninterrupted and dedicated to your personal growth.

Start by sitting comfortably. Close your eyes if need be. Take a deep breath and let out all the tension and thoughts that will be rushing to your mind. Begin by repeating a short and supportive sentence, either silently or aloud. Whatever feels natural. Repeat it 20 times. Let it settle into your mind. Perhaps the following phrase will work for you. It’s been used throughout the years and was once immortalized in a John Lennon song:

“Every day in every way, I’m getting better and better.”

Say it with feeling. Understand each word completely as you repeat and ingrain them into your mind. In between the sentences, you may want to add a few specifics, “I’m a better speaker,” or “I’m a more loving father.”

Later on in BEYOND FREEDOM we will add some additional AFM exercises to perform during this time (see the lesson on Affirmations). But, think of this as stretching. Begin now with setting aside the time for yourself. Time you owe yourself. Time you deserve.